At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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