I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
