u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
