He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
