dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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