waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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