Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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