I'm going to jail i love you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
