We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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