try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
