the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
