It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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