god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
