if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
After last night, I could never be a politician.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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