Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a search helicopter?!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Success! We fucked roommates!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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