he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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