She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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