Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
