: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
