There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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