I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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