I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think my mom watched the whole time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
