3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
