I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
