ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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