I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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