So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
