the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
