Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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