I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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