So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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