I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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