also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
