i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
