we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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