Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
