Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
