Sry I called you an 8
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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