He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
