Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
