Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
