so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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