Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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