Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
