Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
