i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
