I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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