i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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