No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize