Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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