Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
