john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
