Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Girls should come with a carfax report
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize