Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
