It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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